It was around midnight on Sunday when it hit. The pain rolled in like a permanent thunderstorm. It was the second to last tooth on the bottom right of my mouth. I’ve had stitches in both of my eyebrows, the center of my palm after an accident with a trip-wire garden hose and a Coca-Cola Classic bottle, my leg, my finger, and 3 broken ankles. The combined pain of all of those things does not compare to the throbbing that took over my mouth that night.

I tried every homemade remedy I could find online in the middle of the night. Salt water. Apple cider vinegar. Vodka. Vanilla extract. Whole cloves. Dried peppermint. Peppermint tea. Fresh sliced lemon. Onion. A pound and a half of Ibuprofen. Pinching ice between my thumb and forefinger to confuse the nervous system. Anything. Nothing.

The next day I attempted to schedule a dentist appointment. The earliest they could fit me in was 10AM Wednesday. One more night like last. Sleepless. In constant pain. I figured out that even though my tooth was sensitive to cold, ice would freeze the nerve and give me 30 to 45 seconds of peace. It also meant by night two I had to sip ice-cold water at least once a minute to keep the relentless stab and sting within my mouth at bay.

There is no way to sleep if one has to sip water every 30 seconds. I knew I wouldn’t sleep much but I had to figure out something because I had been awake for around 40 hours at this point. My mouth needed to be constantly cold to fall asleep. One can’t just put an ice cube on a gum and call it a night…it’ll melt in 30 seconds. So I rummaged through the freezer.

I found a package of frozen pierogi. If you don’t know what pierogi are you’re missing out. They’re Polish dumplings stuffed with cheese, or potato, plum, meat, sour krout, you name it. They’re fried in butter and are really good for you. I opened the package, individually wrapped the pierogi in plastic sandwich bags, lined them up on my bedstand, and popped one in my mouth. The frozen pierogi would keep my tooth cold for about 15 to 20 minutes at a time. I would sleep until they defrosted on my tongue. The pain would return, I’d wake up, and pop the next one in, getting sleep for 20 minute intervals.

They held the pain at bay long enough for me to get at least minimal sleep until I got to the dentist. They performed an emergency root canal and now I’m good to go. I slept 12 Wednesday night with a 2 hour nap in the middle of the day. My tooth thanks my mom for making us Polish. Moral of the story…pierogi are God’s gift to the mouth. In good times and bad.

 
 
Dancing in Water

The ballet looked like
a school of colorful fish.
I have been drowning.