In 8th grade my homie Carl Z & I were listening to NWA. During the song “I Ain’t the One” Ice Cube spits:

Cause I’m gamin on a female that’s gamin on me/
You know I spell girl with a b

I heard Carl mumble under his breath, “Birl.”

According to Carl Ice Cube isn’t misogynistic…he is just terrible at spelling.

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My homie Jarrett once said to me,

“Did you ever get home while your mom was baking bread & the whole house smelled so good the aroma took over everywhere & everything? It’d make you so incredibly hungry. You couldn’t wait to eat some of that delicious fresh baked loaf. When it was finally done you would come down from your room, cut a fresh slice while it’s still warm, and then when you finally put it in your mouth you realize IT’S BREAD. THAT’S ALL. IT TASTES LIKE BREAD. LIKE BREAD TASTES.”

— — -

One of my students didn’t turn in her work today. I called her and she said, “I’ll e-mail it to you when I get home. Can you text me your e-mail address?” I sent her the text message & a few minutes later I received a response I assume was intended for someone else…

“You a snotty nose hood rat n’dats
why I scribbled all over yo book bag ho.”

I replied:
“Did you just call me a snotty nose hood rat?
-Mr. Sullivan”

I never heard back. I assume she’s terrified.