A few months back I posted a story by Ed Gavagan from The Moth Podcast. “Drowning on Sullivan Street” explained to us how a city could save a man’s life. The story I’m posting today is also from The Moth Podcast and is told by Comedian Mike Destafano. It is entitled “The Junkie & The Monk.” The Cure For Your Ales attempts to bring you questions, stories, allegories, and answers in regards to feeling better and moving on. Here we will explore spirituality in attempt to find some peace in a world that can really beat you bloody sometimes.

I’ve recently gone through/am going through a breakup. Breakups are never easy. There are never any civilized short cuts. No easy way to redefine your relationship. No way to slip into a friendship without resentment. No way to keep yourself or the other from being hurt. No one person to blame. No easy answers.

One thing I do know is that many of us turn to music to consume us after it happens. Sometimes we use it to wallow in our pain. Some use it to get angry, others to get happy again.

“This American Life” has a great episode about breakups including an interview with Phil Collins about breakup songs. You can listen to it for free here if you’re interested or dealing with a breakup yourself.

There have been several songs that have been significant to me during breakups. For instance, “Ex Girl to the Next Girl” by Gangstarr, “You Don’t Know What Love Is” by The White Stripes, and “Leaving on a Jet Plane” by John Denver with honorable mention to the Mos Def cover.

The Gangstarr song allows me to be angry. It allows me to brush a lil dirt off my shoulder. Of course I always know the answers aren’t that simple. I’m not nearly brazen enough a person to just forget someone important to me in the snap of a finger…but for 4 minutes and 41 seconds I’m able to pretend I’m that hardcore. It’s sort of like sucking in my gut in front of the mirror and flexing my “muscles.”

I like The White Stripes song because it has hope for the relationship in the future. It has something figured out and has come to terms with the problem with a hint of bitterness but ultimately the “What if?” remains open. “You’re not hopeless or helpless and I hate to sound cold…”

Though the John Denver song is not particularly a breakup song leaving is involved with a possibility he won’t come back. I also like this song for its hope for the future of the relationship. “Every place I go I’ll think of you/Every song I sing I’ll sing for you/When I come back, I’ll bring your wedding ring.” I also relate to it because the singer admits fault and doesn’t just blame his lover, “There’s so many times I’ve let you down/So many times I’ve played around/I tell you now, they don’t mean a thing.” No easy answers.

So the questions I pose to you:
Do you have some favorite breakup songs? Are there songs that have helped you get over someone, move on, or even fix things? Have there been any songs significant in helping you cope or make your decision? What are they? Don’t be afraid to comment. You might help someone… like me…

One of the things I’ve most enjoyed while being in a car so much lately is listening to podcasts rather than my usual music playlists full of Wutang Clan and leaked copies of new Dr. Dre songs. “This American Life” hosted by Ira Glass makes running from state to state a lot more surreal. “My Secret Public Journal” by Mike Birbiglia makes me reflect on the most awkward and amazing moments in my life. “Learn Spanish Now” makes me learn Spanish now.

Recently my tour partner, Alvin Lau, put me on to podcasts from www.themoth.org. The Moth is a a not-for-profit storytelling organization. The art of story telling without notes on stage is not far from what I do as a performance poet and sometimes the stories embody themes that run parallel to our mission here at The Cure For Your Ales.

One of these stories is that of Ed Gavagan entitled, “Drowning on Sullivan Street”. It is a true story of a Wyoming man, a gang, and the city that saved him. I felt like I needed to share it here and after listening you’ll know why…